Saturday night

I don't easily accept changes. I normally need some time for changes to sink into me and get myself adapted to them. The same way I deal with new people. I observe and study. Familiarise myself. Test the waters, and finally accept. Depending on the nature of change, the whole process could take days, weeks, months or even years. I believe there are times when the change in concern doesn't stick around long enough for me. Before I know it, there's a whole new change to digest!

 

I wonder what were the last thoughts of all my loved ones who are no more. I'm sure they never thought of not seeing tomorrow. They must have made plans. Small plans, big plans. Short term plans, long term plans. Dinner with friends. Grocery. Haircut. Family trip. New car. Bigger family. Hopes. Dreams. And everything ended with them. Just like that. The exact same thing could happen to you and me. What would our last thoughts be like? Our plans or wishes will never be known to anyone. It won't even matter. Our loved ones will mourn for a while and carry on with life.

It's true when people say, it's OUR life. We make our life happen. We realise the dreams. Execute our plans. Take actions. Get things going. No one else, no matter how much they love or care for us, can make our life. Full stop.

 

My eyes chanced upon a book on cannibals in the library yesterday. Browsed a bit and wondered what made them cannibals. Most of the famous cannibals grew up fantasizing about eating human flesh. Upbringing? Nature? Genes? Mental disorder? What purpose do they serve on earth? Other than shocking the world with the gory details in their interviews from the electric chair of course.

 

I know my post title and the content don't match. Saturday night sounds like so much fun right? I wonder who made Saturday night "happening". Oh well, I'm the rebel. I hate the norms. I hate falling for all things idealistic (sometimes I do). Life can't be defined by comparison. What I have, what others have. And I know people who religiously live their lives according to what others have. God help them. And God help me. I have made the staunchest of matriarchs give up on age old traditions out of sheer exasperation. In any case, I'm sure they saw my logic. I admit when it comes to actions, I'm not the most rational person at times but I believe logic keeps me from being totally irrational. Whatever that means :P

My Maths teacher, Mr Tan used to tell us students that Maths is a logical subject. As long as you have logic, you can do well in Maths.

I have been doubting the logical person in me ever since he made that remark, because I have always flunked Maths! Mr Tan, if you ever chanced upon this post, please know that your summary of Maths and logic left a huge impact on my life, though never in the subject you taught me. I still hate numbers.

 

Ok, I can no longer keep it.

 

I admit I'm a world cup widow. That's the real reason why I'm typing away for my neglected blog at 1.00am. The world cup widow's guide says one of the better ways to spend the 90 minutes is by doing a chocolate facial. Yah right, and then spend another 90 minutes getting the chocolate off my pillows and towel? No thanks.

It's not that I don't want to blog regularly, I just don't get the inspirations like this one often enough, errr regular enough. I have yet to discover what triggers me to write. I had a pretty normal day today. Had breakfast, surfed the net, visited mom, had Malay food for lunch, made and ate donuts for tea and watched a movie. Can't detect anything abnormal about my day. So lets not force it, here's to more random posts! Cheers! ;)